Star Wars Day: May The 4th Be With You!

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Luke Skywalker:  What a piece of junk!

Han Solo:  She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.

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Princess Leia:  Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?

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Leia:  This is some rescue. You came in here and you didn’t have a plan for getting out?

Han:  He’s the brains, sweetheart!

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Obi-Wan Kenobi:  Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

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C3PO:  I suggest a new strategy, R2. Let the wookie win.

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Darth Vader:  I find your lack of faith disturbing.

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Obi-Wan (using the Jedi Mind Trick):  These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

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Han:  Get in there you big furry oaf, I don’t care what you smell!

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Han:  Where did you dig up that old fossil?

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Leia:  Would somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?

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Han:  Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her or I’m beginning to like her.

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Darth Vader:  The force is strong with this one.

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Me:  May the force be with you.

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!

Crab Boil & Massage Oil

Hanging out at the Texas Crawfish festival.

Soliciting people to register for a chance to win a free massage.

Fighting the urge to bolt.

Maybe I’m not enough into the mood.

Or drinking enough beer.

Or showing enough boob.

One of those.

Hmmm…

Walk On The Other Side Of The Street Next Time

Oh my Morgan Freeman!

Interwebz? Is that you?!

*hug*

How long has it been? Oh, who cares, you look fantastic! Have you lost weight?

Well, I don’t know what you’re doing but keep it up because damn!

Wait a minute, something’s different. Something…

*gasp*

You met somebody, didn’t you?!

Don’t try to deny it. You’re in love, aren’t you?

Oh, that’s just fantastic! He must be something special because you are GLOWING!

Tell me all about him! How did you meet?

Oooo…those online dating sites can be tricky. The gynecologist who picks you up in a new car every week may turn out to be a valet who does “pelvic exams” out of the back of his van down by the river. You just never know.

What’s that? He’s a web designer? What a fabulous match for you, Interwebz!

I’m so happy you found someone.

*sniff*

That’s just wonderful.

Me?

Oh, nothing special. Same old thing, you know, get up, go to work, get coffee for the boss and try not to spit in it, work, work, work, try not to jab a spork in a coworker’s eye who won’t quit singing and humming, work, feed the dogs, try not to cry and drive directly to a shelter to get another 8 or 9 of them every time the SPCA commercial comes on, walk the dogs, sleep, repeat.

The usual.

What’s the matter? Oh, don’t worry, I’m fine. Just stuck in a bit of a rut.

I have, however, rekindled my love of needle felting, so that’s good. I don’t know why I ever stopped; I mean the whole process is basically a repeated stabbing motion. It’s very cathartic.

But yeah, yeah. I’m good. I’m good. Reeeaaallly good.

Well…

*looks at wrist with no watch*

I should run. I’ve got, you know, wool to stab and…stuff.

Well, it was great to see you.

*hug*

Absolutely, we should get together sometime soon!

Just give me a call!

I’m around.

I’m always around.

Always around and waiting.

Waiting, waiting, waiting…

*awkward silence*

So. Right. Well, see you soon then.

*yelling over shoulder*

And you tell that web designer of yours he better treat you right or I’ll give him a virus!

*still yelling and walking*

I mean, not GIVE him a virus, but you know…

*sees the Interwebz look away and walk faster*

Ok. Ok then.

Call me!

It’s Dark/Darth In Here

It’s been dark inside my head as of late, thus my stepping away from the blog a bit.

HOWEVER…

This picture made me laugh so hard I think I pulled my gallbladder, and thus I had to share.

Hehehehehe!!!

Oh! Whew! That’s hilarious!

Wait, you’re not laughing.

Why aren’t you laughing?

It’s just me again, isn’t it?

*sigh*

Back to the dark.

*click*

Stroke The Furry Wall

I’m going to level with you – I’m struggling.

And I was going to blog it out, but I’m at work and I’m PMSing and I can’t seem to finish writing a stupid post about it without getting all verklempt.

Which is even stupider.

Basically, I’m feeling like the world slipped me a (metaphoric) Jeffrey.

Video=NSFW

Someone get me an adrenaline shot and a furry wall STAT!

Or Mike Rowe and some Nutella.

Or marshmallow vodka and a penis.

At least two of those things.

Hurry.